Make-it-or-Break-It Counseling


Designed to get couples unstuck and decide to work on it or move on


“I  had no idea if I wanted to work on my relationship.  There was so much pain and resentment that I was stuck.  This process took off all of the pressure I’ve been feeling from my spouse to make it work – which helped me to make the best decision for myself and my family.”  
-RTC Make-It-or-Break-It Client

About 1/3 of couples that contact us are on the brink of ending their relationship.

Often one person wants the relationship and the other is concerned that being happy and being together is impossible.

For these couples, traditional couples counseling does not make sense. Instead, you need a therapist who takes you through a process to see if you both can get on board with working on your relationship or if it’s time to call it quits.

Make-it-or-break-it counseling (sometimes called discernment counseling) gives you:

  1. Clarity about how you got to this difficult spot
  2. Options of how to move forward
  3. Confidence in what path you want to take moving forward

Frequently Asked Questions About Make-It-or-Break-It Counseling

  • How do I know if Make-It-or-Break-It Counseling is for us? This type of counseling is for couples where one or both members of the couple are unsure if they want the relationship to proceed.  We find this type of counseling is especially suited for these types of couples and situations:
    • Couples Unsure if they want to move forward with their relationship – Sometimes one or both partners are unsure if they have the feelings or motivation to work on their relationship.
    • A Recent Affair was Uncovered – An affair has been revealed and it’s unclear if both of the partners want to work on repairing the relationship.
    • Want to Want It – Some people come to us and although they don’t have the feelings of admiration for their partner – they want to get them back and want to know if it’s possible.  Whether it’s an affair or betrayal or other crisis – ICC is a great way to stabilize very difficult situations and develop a plan for moving forward.
    • Relationship on the Brink of Divorce – Sometimes it seems like a relationship is not fixable.  Make-It-or-Break-It Counseling can help couples understand if their situation is workable.
    • One Partner is In – One Partner is Out – One person wanting the relationship and the other person wanting out is a common predicament.  Make-It-or-Break-It Counseling provides a forum to see if there is middle ground between the two positions.  This is of utmost importance because traditional couples therapy will almost surely fail if both partners do not have similar goals.
  • What is the format? Make-It-or-Break-It Counseling is done in two Intensive Blocks.  During the process couples will meet together and individually with their therapist.
  • Does going through this process mean I have to work on my relationship? Absolutely not.  One of the huge benefits of this type of counseling is that we are not assuming you want to work on your relationship.  We are giving you a process to explore and if you want to end your relationship or if you would rather work on your relationship.
  • If I agree to work on my relationship after this process – does that mean I’m stuck and have to make it work? Absolutely not.  If you decide to work on your relationship – you are only obligated to see if the relationship can improve.  You are not signing up for a lifetime. 
  • Are the therapists at the Relationship Therapy Center trained in discernment counseling? Most of our therapists are trained in this type of counseling, but only our most experinced therapists offer Make-It-or-Break-It intensives.  If you’re interested in this type of counseling – please contact our Intensive Program Director at 612-400-5262 and they will connect you with a well-trained Make-It-or-Break-It Counselor.
  • Is there hope for us? Often a relationship that had been on the brink can be transformed into a better relationship than ever before.  This is only possible if  each person learns the skills necessary to be successful in relationships.  At RTC we know the skills and teach them to couples every day.
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