Top 10 Questions to Discuss Before Saying I Do

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting moments in life. But before walking down the aisle, it’s important to have open, honest conversations that lay the groundwork for a successful marriage. At the Relationship Therapy Center, we believe that couples who communicate well from the beginning are more likely to build healthy, long-lasting relationships. Whether you're planning a wedding or just thinking about your future together, here are 10 essential questions to talk through before saying “I do.”

How Do We Handle Money?

Money is one of the top causes of stress in relationships. Talk about spending habits, saving goals, debt, and whether you’ll share accounts or keep things separate. Discuss how you’ll manage your finances day-to-day and how big decisions—like buying a house or saving for retirement—will be made.

What Role Does Religion or Spiritual Belief Play in Our Lives?

Even if you share the same beliefs, it’s helpful to talk about how those beliefs shape your values, traditions, and future family life. If your beliefs differ, explore how you’ll respect and navigate those differences—especially if children are part of the plan.

What Are Our Expectations Around Sex and Intimacy?

Physical connection is a key part of a healthy relationship. Talk about what intimacy means to each of you, how you like to express love, and how you’ll keep the spark alive during busy or stressful seasons of life.

How Will We Divide Household Responsibilities?

From laundry to dishes to pet care, chores can easily become points of frustration if expectations aren’t aligned. Have a conversation about how you’ll share responsibilities fairly and what feels supportive to each partner.

Do We Want Children—and If So, When?

This is one of the biggest decisions couples face. Be honest about whether you want children, how many, and what your parenting values might be. It’s also important to talk through scenarios like fertility struggles or different timelines for starting a family.

What Health Issues Do We Need to Be Aware Of?

Talking about physical and mental health helps build trust and creates space for empathy. Share any chronic conditions, family health history, or mental health needs. Discuss how you’ll support each other through illness, stress, or major life changes.

How Do We Handle Conflict?

Every couple argues—but how you argue matters more than how often. Reflect on how you were raised to handle conflict, and share what helps you feel heard and understood during disagreements. Commit to growing your communication skills together.

What Role Will Extended Family Play?

Families can be a source of love—or tension. Talk about how close you are with your relatives, how holidays will be shared, and how involved family will be in your day-to-day life. Setting boundaries early can help avoid resentment later.

What Are Our Career Goals and Lifestyle Expectations?

Your careers and individual goals will shape how your marriage looks day to day. Discuss things like work-life balance, relocations, and whether one of you might take time off for caregiving. Align on your vision for the lifestyle you want to build together.

How Do We Make Each Other Feel Loved and Supported?

Understanding your partner’s emotional needs helps you both feel safe and valued. Learn each other’s love languages, and talk about how you can regularly show appreciation, check in emotionally, and be a strong team through life’s ups and downs.

Final Thoughts

Marriage isn’t just about love—it’s about partnership. These conversations might feel big, but they’re part of building a foundation of trust and understanding. At the Relationship Therapy Center, we offer premarital counseling to help couples navigate these important topics with guidance and support. Whether you’re newly engaged or thinking ahead, our therapists are here to help you build a strong start to your forever. Ready to take the next step in your relationship? Contact us today to schedule a session or learn more about our premarital counseling services.