Narcissism Summit Videos
Session One – Narcissism 101: An Overview
Staying Sane and Healthy in the Era of Narcissism and Entitlement – Ramani Durvasula
- Narcissism has become the new normal, incentivized by society and culture. At its core, narcissism not only reflects insecurity in an individual, but appears to be manifested in a parallel insecurity in the world at large. The enticements of charm, charisma, confidence, and success can draw us in or blind us to the damaging truths of narcissism. The invalidation inherent in these relationships infects those who are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression, and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances, and despondency when change never comes. It’s time for a wake-up call. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls.
- Understand what narcissism actually is while differentiating it from narcissistic personality disorder
- An overview of the incentivization of narcissism, incivility, and entitlement by society at large
- An understanding of the impact of difficult personality patterns, including narcissism, and antagonism on the people in relationships with them
- Simple takeaways on how to stay sane in the midst of the culture of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility
Narcissism: thoughts on Structure and Reach – W. Keith Campbell
- Dr. Campbell will present the current thinking on narcissism in the scientific community, with a focus on the structure of narcissism. There is an emerging agreement that there are different forms of narcissism, but these can be described with three basic traits. He will also discuss some of the ways narcissism spreads via social media, leadership, and attraction.
- The difference between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism (and NPD)
- The Trifurcated Model of narcissism (TMN)
- The basic association between narcissism and social media, leadership, and attraction
Session Two – Narcissism in Relationships
“Decoding the Connection Between Narcissistic Parents and Partners” – Terri Cole MSW, LCSW
- In this session we will establish a baseline understanding of the narcissistic parent and how never getting your needs truly met as a child impacts and creates what Terri has termed “Repeating Romantic Realities” (repeating the same painful, unfulfilling, and many times abusive relationship with narcissists). We will cover how your “downloaded love blueprint,” the way you experienced love, is impacting who you choose now and how to change that.
- How to identify a narcissistic parent
- How to identify your unique Downloaded Blueprint
- The narcissism-codependency connection
- The interdependence of healthy love
- How healthy boundaries are essential for healing—and a happy life
- Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents Healing Starter Kit – Please enjoy Terri’s Healing Starter Kit which contains a downloadable PDF with questions and resources, plus a free self-love guided meditation and video links to vlogs on narcissism.
- Self-love guided meditation by Terri Cole
“Understanding Covert Narcissism” – Abdul Saad, MPsych
- The focus of the presentation will be on understanding covert narcissism as a specific manifestation of narcissistic personality pathology. Abdul will draw key distinctions between covert and overt/grandiose narcissism, draw out the core psychological components of covert narcissism, and outline how the pathology manifests based on the understanding of its psychology. He will give examples of how covert narcissistic pathology manifests in relationships across various domains, including romantic. He will also touch on key markers to distinguish between covert narcissistic pathology (as a personality disorder) and covert narcissistic vulnerability.
- Understanding the key distinctions between covert/vulnerable and overt/grandiose narcissism
- Understanding how these distinctions are a function of differences in temperament between individuals with covert and overt narcissism
- How the core pathological features of narcissistic personality disorder are operating in both covert and overt narcissism, even though they appear very different
- Understanding the critical role of schadenfreude to explain how covertly narcissistic individuals exploit others
- Distinguishing between covert narcissism when it manifests as a personality vulnerability rather than as a disorder (NPD)
Session Three – A Politics of Us vs. Them
“The Dangers of Narcissism in Politics” – Bandy X. Lee, MD, MDiv
- Dr. Bandy X. Lee is a professor at Yale and the author of The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump. In this interview with Jeffrey Rutstein, Bandy discusses the ethical considerations facing mental health professionals, the universal pledge known as the Declaration of Geneva, and the very real reasons for concern about the future of our country and our world under our current president’s leadership.
- The story behind the bestselling book
- Why medical neutrality does not mean silence
- The danger of normalizing a malignant situation
- Why tyranny over the mind is the greatest form of oppression
“The Narcissism Spectrum” – Craig Malkin, PhD
- Dr. Craig Malkin is a clinical psychologist and lecturer for Harvard Medical School and a contributing writer for The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump. In this interview with Jeffrey Rutstein, you’ll learn about the full spectrum of the trait known as narcissism, including how to approach treating people with NPD. Dr. Malkin will also discuss the complexities and subtleties of narcissism, overcoming attachment insecurity, and the need to build bridges that bring people together, not walls that divide us.
- The difference between healthy and unhealthy narcissism
- The three Es: exploitation, entitlement, and empathy impairment
- The concept of “Echoism”
- Narcissism in leadership and politics
Session Four – Narcissism in a Patriarchal Society
“Knowledge Is Power: Recognizing Narcissism in the Workplace” – Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW
- I will discuss seven aspects of narcissism—shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation, and bad boundaries—with examples of how each might manifest in a variety of work settings. Participants will learn to identify the underlying power dynamics in order to be better able to manage the challenges of this pervasive pathology. I will also discuss the importance of understanding one’s own “buttons,” disengaging from no-win situations, and protecting boundaries.
- The different “flavors” of narcissism
- Why work environments are vulnerable to narcissistic processes
- What you must do if you don’t want to quit (or be fired)
“Male Narcissism, Male Shame” – Terry Real, LICSW
- Traditional masculinity is founded upon two central lies: dominance and invulnerability. As humans we are neither, leaving most men dogged by anxiety and shame. Also central to traditional masculinity is the theme of: “regeneration through violence,” the shift from feelings of inadequacy to indignation and rage. We will look at the roots of men’s narcissism and what to do about it.
- Traditional masculinity is founded on two lies, leaving men vulnerable to anxiety and shame
- Shame can be successfully (if disastrously) self-medicated with grandiosity
- Healthy self-esteem is WITH—neither better nor lesser than
- From Boys to Men: a Conversation with Terry Real and Carol Gilligan – In this conversation with Terry Real and Carol Gilligan, we’ll explore the latest research on boys’ development, the state of masculinity in America, what women need to know about men, and why Relational Life Therapy is particularly effective with men.
Session Five – Overcoming the Culture of ME
“Narcissism and the Evolution of Consciousness” – Caroline Myss
- Narcissism is often seen in a negative light. But what if narcissism were a critical stage in our development that we all must go through—both individually and as a society? In this presentation, bestselling author and renowned intuitive Caroline Myss shares her vision of a new “model” of the human being—a fully empowered, fully mature, conscious individual.
- The archetypal force known as the narcissist
- The great turning point of the Nuclear Age and where we find ourselves now
- Embracing the shadow and moving through the dark side of narcissism
- Recognizing and reclaiming your true power
“A New Age of Narcissism” – Emily Bebenek
- Narcissism is being incentivized and encouraged by modern society and culture. This trend, spread through multiple facets of our everyday lives, has resulted in a shift of our ideals and values. With emphasis on what this means for younger generations, this presentation explores the effects of such influences on how we think and act.
- The ways in which society encourages and rewards narcissistic behaviors
- How the trend of narcissism is influencing our lives and values
- Alternative values to encourage and pursue for a more meaningful life
Session Six – the Empath/Narcissist Connection
“The Toxic Attraction Between Empaths and Narcissists” – Judith Orloff, MD
- Empaths and narcissists often have a toxic attraction to each other, explains Dr. Judith Orloff. Empaths get caught up in a narcissist’s charisma, charm, and promise of love and connection, but full-blown narcissists have what science calls “Empath Deficient Disorder,” which means they are not capable of empathy as we know it. Narcissists love empaths since they thrive on adoration and unconditional love. Dr. Orloff advises that empaths beware!
- How to identify a narcissist
- Protection strategies for empaths
- Narcissist techniques such as gaslighting and beating down your self-esteem
- The advantage of provoking a conflict with a narcissist to reveal their true colors early on
- The cord-cutting technique to end a relationship with a narcissist
- The Narcissist Survival Guide – A short, practical survival guide for dealing with narcissists and excerpts about protecting yourself from narcissists from Dr. Orloff’s new book Thriving as an Empath.
- “An Empathic Perspective on Narcissism” – Karla McLaren, MEd
- Narcissism is often portrayed as a frightening or monstrous condition, and we are usually invited to see narcissistic people as less-than-fully human or even as evil. Hyper-empathic people are also portrayed as being particularly susceptible to narcissistic people, as if empathy is a sign of fragility and poor discernment. Yet there is a deeper story here, and a far more empathic way to approach narcissistic behavior and narcissistic people.A note about terminology: Karla McLaren uses the identity-first term autistic people in this presentation, which comes from the autism-positive neurodiversity approach she champions in her work, her research, and her own life as a multiply learning-disabled person. Of course, she also uses different terminology if disabled people themselves prefer it.
- Exploring the situations that lead to self-absorption and an inability to fully connect with others
- Humane and non-pathologizing ways to identify narcissistic tendencies so that you can decide how you want to engage
- Understanding the necessity of both narcissism and empathy, and retrieving narcissism from the shadows.
- Empathic Communication: Getting Into Sync with Others – This chapter excerpt from The Art of Empathy will help you understand the difference between empathic communication techniques and true empathic engagement. This excerpt includes five empathic communication practices and information on how to understand and support emotions in yourself and others.
Session Seven – Narcissism and the Spiritual Path
“Narcissism as a Barrier to Self-Realization” – A.H. Almaas
- A.H. Almaas is a spiritual teacher, author, and founder of The Diamond Approach®. In this presentation, he will discuss how narcissism becomes an impediment to spiritual awakening (or self-realization), and how spiritual practice is necessary in order for a person to alleviate the symptoms and disturbances of narcissism. “The soul’s estrangement from its true nature is the basis of narcissism,” he explains. “The self of the average individual is deeply and fundamentally narcissistic. The complete resolution of narcissism will elude us until the achievement of self-realization.”
- Narcissism as the loss of Essential Identity
- Why we can’t separate our psychology from our spirituality
- How understanding the spiritual nature of the self can help us to understand even severe forms of narcissistic disturbance
“Spiritual Tools and Support for Navigating Relationships with Narcissists” – Bonnie Duran, DrPH
- This presentation will provide a brief overview of 2 Buddhist suttas that speak to the difficulties of relationships with narcissistic wounded people. Dr. Duran will also describe spiritual tools such as mindfulness and equanimity practices as refugees during challenging times.
- Our own individual experience of working with narcissism in our lives
- Notions of conceit (mana) and vipallasa (wrong view) in Buddhist suttas and their applicability to understanding narcissism
- Mindfulness and compassion practice as spiritual tools in working with difficult individuals
Session Eight – Cultivating Healthy Narcissism
“Healthy Confidence” – Rick Hanson, PhD
- Healthy confidence promotes resilience and well-being. We develop this largely through receiving empathy, appreciation, and cherishing from others, but if these are in short supply, we feel insecure and inadequate, hungry for approval, and sensitive to slights. Happily, we can heal the past and grow into the future with the power of positive neuroplasticity. This presentation will explore practical ways to weave self-worth and optimism into your nervous system.
- The social brain: why we need healthy “narcissistic supplies,” especially in childhood
- What happens when we do not get the empathy, caring, and appreciation we naturally need
- How to heal the hungry heart and “hardwire” healthy confidence into your brain
- Feeling Cared About Practice – In this guided practice, you will explore the different ways of caring by thinking about someone that you care about, and also thinking about someone that cares about you.
“Are We All Narcissists?” – Satinder Brar, MSc, RP, CCC
- There is far more to narcissism than the commonly used insult or accusations made daily. The reality is that it ranges from extreme selflessness to arrogance and grandiosity. We all must find the healthy middle ground and promote that in ourselves and those closest to us.
- The spectrum of narcissism
- The healthy parts of narcissism
- How to promote healthy narcissism in the ones we love
Session Nine – Healing from Narcissistic Wounds
“Survivors: The Brain and Moving Forward After a Relationship with a Narcissist” – Rhonda Freeman, PhD
- This presentation will focus on survivors involved in a romantic relationship with a narcissist who is abusive. Neurological and psychological symptoms commonly associated with intimate partner emotional abuse will be explored. The importance of self-care, as well as specific approaches to soothe and calm the brain, will be presented.
- How the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder often present within an intimate relationship
- Why many survivors struggle with shame during and after the relationship
- Neurocircuitry commonly associated with emotion dysregulation in the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist
- The impact of traumatic stress on the brain within an intimate relationship
- Self-care approaches to ease emotion dysregulation (i.e., pain, withdrawal, stress) when the relationship has ended
“Loving for Real: Healing Narcissism In Relationship” – Jeff Pincus, MSW, LCSW
- Narcissism presents particular challenges and pain points for partners in relationship. This difficulty can be addressed through understanding the missed developmental experience and courageously engaging in that task as an adult. By moving through the experiential processes of inflation, deflation, integration, and maturation, narcissistic partners can heal deeply unsatisfying relational patterns and co-create a genuine love relationship. This practice generates greater relational agency, compassion, and a more resilient sense of self.
- Identify the narcissistic traits that block genuine connection
- Understand three essential tasks that transform narcissistic immaturity or injury into growth and relational agency
- Apply the process of Dyadic Self-Development in your own relationship or with your clients
- 5 Essential Moves to Grow Beyond Narcissism in Your Relationship – “Having met with thousands of couples over twenty five years as a marriage coach and couple therapist, I’ve seen how unworked narcissism gets in the way of real intimacy and connection. I’m talking about garden-variety narcissism that doesn’t make headlines or warrant a psychiatric diagnosis, but does prevent a couple from getting the most joy and satisfaction from their relationship. Here are my top five suggestions for how to begin to break free from this type of self-distortion to create dynamic, adult love.” — Jeff Pincus, MSW, LICSW
Session Ten – Surviving and Thriving in the Age of Narcissism
“How Self-Compassion Avoids and Helps Deal with Narcissism” – Kristin Neff, PhD
- This presentation will differentiate self-compassion from self-esteem. Self-esteem is an evaluation of self-worth that requires feeling special and above average, and is sometimes linked to narcissism. Self-compassion, on the other hand, involves treating oneself with warmth and kindness even when encountering failure or feelings of inadequacy. Self-compassion also helps people to stand up to narcissists. Yin self-compassion involves comforting and soothing one’s pain, while yang self-compassion involves drawing boundaries and saying no. Both forms of self-compassion are necessary when dealing with narcissists.
- The difference between self-compassion and self-esteem
- Yin and yang self-compassion
- How both forms of self-compassion are needed to stand up to narcissists
“The True Self Must Live: The Story of Bluebeard and How Not to Fall Prey to Malignant Narcissists” – Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD
- “Never has the true self been as endangered as it is now in human beings.” So begins Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, the renowned Jungian psychoanalyst, author, and cantadora (keeper of the old stories). In this presentation, she shares insights into the nature of narcissism, as exemplified by the story of Bluebeard.
- The far-reaching effects of NPD
- The story of Bluebeard and the pathway to freedom
- The false empathy proclaimed by narcissists
- Rising above the oppression of our “overculture”